8/6/14

Coppertone's New Formula Smells Like Brut



Just a funny observation, something that I would never have guessed in a million years. I hate suntan lotion, the sticky aspect of it, and the fact that its fragrance conflicts with just about everything known to man. Coppertone used to have a creamy, nutty odor, sort of a cross between coconut and vanilla. They recently revamped their line of lotions, and work forced me to grab a bottle, lest hours under midday summer sunshine should have their way with my fine porcelain skin. Reluctantly I slathered it on my neck and shoulders, and was immediately struck by the familiarity of its scent - Brut.

It basically smells like the heart of Brut, that warm coumarinic lavender, the grassy notes, and a very bold, soapy musk. So it doesn't smell difficult anymore, which is nice. I can wear Coppertone with Brut (or just Coppertone) and go about my day. No need to try and match the old coconut thing to some super-seasonal Tommy Bahama-esque type of frag. I wore the combo to work, mainly a few generous swipes of Coppertone and a couple of spritzes of Brut Classic. A female coworker smelled me coming in and said, "Suntan lotion?" Another woman also commented to someone else shortly after I passed by her that the hall smelled like suntan lotion. The two odors of lotion and Brut had melded perfectly into one. There was literally no conflict between them.

Why in hell does Coppertone smell like Brut now? I think I might know. Women don't wear Coppertone like they used to. Once upon a time there were only a couple brands of tanning lotion out there, and Coppertone was king here in the USA. Those days have passed. Now women have a metric fuck-ton of options to choose from, a gajillion creams, lotions, makeup products that double as tanning lotions, skin hydrators that also double as tanning lotions, and pretty soon we'll be seeing SPF labels on gallons of milk. But men don't use all that shit. We're afraid of the sun? We buy straight-up suntan lotion. And now we can wear it and smell like men. Neat.